FERAL SMALLS 49.5L KEG *CONTACT US FOR ALL OUT OF PERTH METRO DELIVERY*

We continue to subject the creature, codename ‘SMALLS’, to ongoing covert mind-control experiments. We have recently established a mesmeric echo, trained on the radioactive subject known as ‘BIGGIE’. Although smaller in profile, ‘SMALLS’ presents near-identical traits: tropical, juicy, resinous. Officers report sensing a dialogue from the creature — a quiet voice within their minds, urging them to release it from its containment. In view of these developments, we seek authorisation to halt the final phase of testing until containment protocols are assured.